<Jester Jade> just to let everyone know, ive moved to live journal the link is http://www.livejournal.com/users/jesterjade/
ill post on that one from now on. that is all </Jester Jade> <!--11:39 AM-->
<Jester Jade> just to let everyone know, ive moved to live journal the link is http://www.livejournal.com/users/jesterjade/
ill post on that one from now on. that is all </Jester Jade> <!--11:39 AM-->
<Jester Jade> hey guess what, i think i might be actually feeling happy for once!! its strange feeling, just going thru the day, not feeling shitty. dont get me wrong, i have still tons to do, (late projects and papers i still need to do eh heh heh...), but its just a lot of stress, not the depression i was in for the longest time. i guess this is how normal people feel most of the time. but yeah, i think the main reason im am happier is cuz of going to the see a therapist at school lately. its been kinda a secret for awhile cuz i didnt want to look "disturbed", but yanno fuck it. its really helping me out a lot. i really suggest people go if they are having problems. plus, its free for students!! hehe. i told some of my friends about going awhile ago, and a lot of them were really surprised that i felt so down all the time, cuz i was always laughing, and smiling. i think its my defense mechanism tho, it puts people at ease when im "happy". im not sure how much longer im going to see the shrink, i have a few more issues i need to tdeal with, but so far so good. i mean, of coarse, some things were mixed up more, but there were a lot of things that were brought to my attention that i hadnt even explored from a different perspective. well enough of that ish...today was so an arduous process. i woke up "late" because i didnt know my dad wanted to go out to eat for breakfast. i hate when he springs stuff on me last minute like that, and makes it out to be my fault that i wasnt ready on time. michelle and shane know what im talking about. I was muy contento on eating cereal. work was chock full of annoying people today. customers are pigs i swear. well i met the other new employee, lisa. shes way cool, i hope we didnt scare her off by being too sarcastic. when me and gina are closing, we can be kinda intimidating, hehe. well, you know that downward spiral i was affraid of beginnig again last week? well its well into the spiral, i think im on the 3rd level of hell by now. i still havent finished the any of my projects, or paper. but i did do well on my test, as expected. i studied on the bustrip to school. but with the rest of the stuff, i really dropped the ball. i dunno, i need to get my ass in gear, there are only like 5-4 weeks left of school, and i still have alot of stuff to do. i went out way to much during the week. i went drinking on mon., and sushi on wed., so now im broke again. argh...i talked to the guy offering me that job at that effects company. i told him that i couldnt do it right now, cuz i wanted to finish school first. but he told me that i would be like making ALOT of money if i worked there. i would get 10% on everything i design, and the average deal is millions of dollars. do the math, and for a million dollar deal, if i was the "idea man" i would get $100,000!! plus its exactly what i want to get into, effects and toy design. it sounds almost too good to be true, but heres the catch, i have to work full time which means i have to quit school, and its a new startup company, which who knows how long will last. any opinions on this matter would be greatly appreciated, i mean it. please email or IM me on your advice, because im really not sure what to do!!
email for you thoughts and advice:
redsar@mac.com
AIM screen name:
Jester Jade
"why pay for the cow when you can get the sex for free"-brody, "mallrats" </Jester Jade> <!--4:56 AM-->
<Jester Jade> i had a good day today, yay!! well anyways, lately ive been obsessed with the new honda scooter, the metropolitan, thanks to Ariel. well today i went to go see it with my friend chuck, otherwise known as Ed norton, hehe. it was way cool, i was drooling over the swank scooter. i cant wait to get one!! even tho everyone on my family thinks im insane for wanting one. but oh yes it will be mine....well after that chuck and I hung out for the rest of the day till I had to go to work. i introduced him to boba, and the talking trashcans we had at the foodcourt in my mall. he said it was like drinking candy. hehe. afte that we walked around the mall looking at stuff we couldnt get, and i bought the Beast Wars dvd. its a great dvd, the quality of the video is better than the broadcast tv show!! Im such a fan boy. speaking of which, im making an anime costume in my costume class for a final project. its either going to be jedah from darstalker if i feel up to it, or duo from gundam wing endless waltz for an eaiser costume. we'll see. oh yeah, im also looking into a possible job opening in long beach for a puppet house doing movie animatronics/toy company, but im not definate on that yet. hopefully it pans out. and work was cool today, the new guy we hired was there, hes really quite but seems nice. and there were a lot of cool people that came in. and cute people to boot!! hehe anyways, i gotta go watch my beast wars dvd peace out! </Jester Jade> <!--1:43 AM-->
<Jester Jade> today has been pretty productive, if i do say so myself. I actually finished doing ALLL my laundry and cleaning the eye of the hurricane that was my room, and cleaned up my work area as best as possible. and i VACUUMED!!! hehe. theres no stopping me now world! do you hear ME!! anyhow, i should keep the ball rolling and finish all my projects. lest see, 1-giger desk 70% done, 2-power tool rendering, need to start, room line drawing, need to start, costume design paper, need to start, and study for midterm for costume design, last priotiy. im a pretty good bullshitter when it comes to test. oh yeah, let me tell you a bit thats going on in my life for a bit, for all those intersted. on friday, i went to work at 12, when i was really scheduled for 5. note also that friday was "punk rock prom" day at work we were supposed to dress up "punk formal". yes, i know its an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp. anyhow, i was wearing my new boots i got for xmas, and my old trusty dkny suit from HS grad, a studded pyramid belt, and a pocket watch with a long chain. and i had my hair in a psuedo mohawk, that michelle and shane dubbed "rockabilly", which its not!! i felt pretty snazzy. but after standing in my boots after a coupla hours, my feet started to throb like no other...it was a pain in my feet that i havent felt since i got my clown camper shoes. damn my huge paddle feet!! damn them all to hell!! anyhow i endured this torture from 12 till 10 at night. i told myself i would neevr do that again, but ill probably forget after a month and try again, to see if I "broke them in" yet. kinda like after you have a really bad hangover, and you swear never to drink again, that is until that big party a month later, and the cycle continues....fashion over fuction i guess, hehe. at least we got some cool "prom pics" from work, where we posed as if there really was a prom at HT. i was in a lot of pictures, 'cause i was the only guy working that day, in other words, i was a manwhore for the day. well at least i was a fancy mawhore, that looked respectable, sorta. thats an extra 2 dolla charge than the normal rate. hehe ill try and link the pics when i get them emailed to me. oh yeah, i need to learn how to link stuff too...anyhoo, i should start my giger project now, before the downward spiral begins anew...i feel a nap coming on already!! ahhh!!! </Jester Jade> <!--8:06 PM-->
<Jester Jade> wow i havent written in here for a week!! ah well. any how whats going on, well im feeling really confused as of late. i dont know why. i feel like im on the cusp of some drastic change, but i need a some sort of missing catalyst. one change that im going thru that i dont like, but have had a habit of repeating, is my cycling of my friendships. i dont know why, but after a certain time, i feel the need to find new friends, and leve my old ones. i know, im smoking crack. but i have serious trust issues i think... but yeah, im tying to stop the cycle right now, because i really like the friends that i have now. but i cant get rid of the feeling of paranoia. hopefully i can change soon </Jester Jade> <!--12:27 AM-->
<Jester Jade> this weekend was a good one. hey guess what i got my money on fri., finally!! huzzah!! i was so happy that i went thru work actually smiling like i used to. On sat., i went to the less than jake/bad religion show. that was an interesting fiasco. well when i got off work, i tried to call everyone to see if they wanted to go to the show, but alas, no one was home, or no one had car. i finally got someone to go, phil, my old boss of all people. hes a pretty cool guy, if you look past his asshole exterior. anyways, we got there, and i went to will call to pick up the tix, but i forgot my wallet!! grr...so i called my sister, and after a long drawn out way of proving she worked at kroq, i go the tickets, woo hoo!! well, we went to the pat down line, i got thru ok, but phil had t take off his belt, because it was a studded belt. which was ridiculous, because i had on the same belt!! anyhoo, we went back th the car, and we took off our belts. what was funny was he wore pant that were like 5 sizes too big. his pants kept falling off and he rechecked that his boxers were buttoned so his crazy "machine" wouldnt make a scene. i couldnt stop laughing! well, we got back to the line, got patted down again, and went for the pocket check. these people are the gestapo i swear. no gum, no lighters, no bottle openers, no cigarettes, no pens, geez! well we went back to the car again to drop off the lighter ( it cost me 12 bucks, im not throwing it away!) and ciggarettes, and all other banned goods. i put my cell phone in too for good measure. by the time we actually got in, less than jake started playing, and they rocked!! they played some old songs, but a lot of new ones, which were really good. after that set, we went to the front and waited for bad religion. after about half an hour, they came on, and omg, they were fucking awesome. i havent had that much fun since god knows when. and today for easter, i hung out with the fam for my grandmas bday. i havent seen my sis or brother forever, it seems like. yanno, it really sucks when you realize that the relationship you have with your family will never be the same ideal it used to be. i wish i could talk to them more, or just be in thier presence. but with our busy lives, it just seems so hard. And i said the something today about it to tasha that was really sad, "you get used to it." i dont want to get used to it, but thats the only way to move on. ah well. i guess thats part of live as you get older. I can always cherrish the memories of how close we used to be. </Jester Jade> <!--12:08 AM-->
<Jester Jade> hey, i have the tracking thingy, andi just found out some one from the motherland(indonesia) is reading this. i hope its not a relative...hehe..eh....well whoever you are email me and tell me who you are at redsar@mac.com </Jester Jade> <!--12:28 AM-->
<Jester Jade> man, i havent felt this down for a long time...it just seems like everything is plotted against me. well i went to work, and it turned out that michelle did get the tickets, but jesus fucking christ, why did i have to say i could work?! argh....i know its all my fault, but still, i ve been planing this forever, and it didnt happen. all the things i wanted to do this break didnt happen. oh yeah, btw, apparently i have a cyst in my lip too. isnt that grand. well thats what i had checked yesterday at the doctors. i mean i thought it was cancer, thats why i didnt want to jinx it. its great its not cancer, but i still have to get it cut out. yay for me... i wanted to go out drinking today, but you know what, i cant cause im still broke! andim all outta cigs, and man did i need one today... i dont care what happens on fri, i need to do something, go somewhere, or my sanity will be at risk </Jester Jade> <!--11:23 PM-->
<Jester Jade> well my spring break has been pretty disappointing.... im such an idiot. well im not going to the no doubt show. i ha ve to work cause they called me when i was sleeping to come in today, and i said ok without thinking. no i have to do it...geeez!!!! im soch an idiot.......well at least i had fun at marios party last night. it was really what i needed. nelly and mario are like the two of the coolest cats around. anyways, i have to work on my projects, but maybe ill drink tonight to drown my sorrows...hehe
"HOIST BY OWN PITARD!!" -Kuno </Jester Jade> <!--4:24 PM-->
/archives
